Raining
by Dgm-yoai-lover
Summary: Allen felt strange as he sat on the playground, fondling the knife in his hand that would soon end his life. He just wished things could have been different. allenxlavi laven suicide rape EXTREMELY SAD PEOPLE! M FOR A REASON!
1. Prologue

**I don't own d.gray-man.**

**--**

_It's a strange thing, knowing you're about to die by your own hand. I probably should have felt scared, sitting on the metal platform of the primary school playground's flying fox, but I felt oddly calm about it._

_I just wished I could have seen Lavi one last time, rather then just that quick phone conversation that left him utterly confused and me in tears._

_I sighed and took out the small knife in my pocket, and fiddled with it in my hands for a while, thinking about my life. Although I wanted to do this, I didn't want to rush it._

_I wondered if any of this would have happened, had I not dropped my books on this very spot, ten years ago._

_--_

**Yeah, short, I know, but I'll put up a real chapter soon.**

**Reveiw if you want.**


	2. The first rain

**Still don't own d.gray-man! It's only been half an hour!**

**Note, in this, Lavi is 16. Allen is still 15. And it's a high school fic!**

**--**

Allen ran to his locker, undid the combination and piled his books into his bag. School had just been let out for the summer, and although he kind of liked school, he was just as excited to start his holiday as everyone else, talking and laughing around him.

'Hey Allen,' A cheerful voice behind him made him jump slightly. He turned to see his best friend Lavi grinning at him, red hair messy, shirt untucked and bag hanging off one shoulder.

'Hey Lavi, we still going over to your house for movies?'

'Sure am. Gramps wont be home, so we'll have the house to ourselves. Yu's can't come this time, though, he and his parents went on holiday to Japan to visit family.'

'Really?' Allen smirked, 'That's too bad, I was sooo looking forward to the jerk's company.'

'Aw, play nice, Allen'.

Lavi laughed and patted Allen on the head. Allen frowned, but with his cute face, it took the appearance of a pout, making Lavi laugh harder. He sighed in exasperation, giving up, and the two walked along the hall towards the exit.

Lavi had been best friends with Allen ever since they were little. One day at primary school, Allen had been carrying a few books across the playground to the class room for his teacher, and as he passed the flying fox, a year two had tripped him and started teasing him about having white hair. Allen had been a lot smaller then the bully, and had no choice but to take the abuse, lest he be beaten up. But then, Lavi, who was then in year one, came up to them and told the bully to leave him alone. Though he was a year younger, the bully was shorter then Lavi and he obeyed. Then Lavi helped Allen pick up the scatter books and they'd been friends ever since. But, recently, Allen found he was having feelings for him much stronger then just friendship.

--

The two boys ran to the living room, dropping their bags on the floor as they went, and jumped onto the couch. Lavi picked up the remote and switched the TV on, and flicked through the channels. Lavi lived with his grandfather, as his parents had been killed in a fire when he was young, and he was extremely strict, so it wasn't often they could be so casual at his house. Normally they would go to Allen's house.

Allen's parents were scientists, and often went away for long periods of time, leaving him in the house by himself. He didn't mind, but when Lavi came over he felt a little less lonely.

'So when are your mum and dad coming back?' Lavi asked.

'In about two months,' Allen explained, 'Depends how quick they finish their research on that weird plant thing.'

'Hm... Hey Allen, if I talked to Gramps... Next time your parents went away would you like to stay with us?'

'Wha-what?' Allen stuttered, looking at him in alarm. Lavi smiled at him and Allen looked away to hide the blush.

'N-no... It's fine... Besides, I need to be there to feed their pet fish and collect their mail and stuff in case something urgent comes in.'

'Ok...' Lavi shrugged, 'But the offer still stands if you ever want it.'

Allen nodded absent-mindedly and looked at the TV where Lavi had just turned on some anime about vampires. He wouldn't mind living with Lavi, but what with his new feelings for him, it would be too weird for him.

'Right,' Lavi stood up, 'There's nothing on TV, I'll go order the pizzas and the DVD's.'

--

The sleepover went as normal. They ordered a bunch of movies, ate way too much pizza, made fun of the bad acting in the movies and the crappy storylines, drank flat soft drink, and fell asleep just after dawn, still in their school clothes. To most people it didn't sound like much fun, but to Allen, he felt it couldn't get any better. Although he couldn't be with Lavi romantically, he still cherished their friendship greatly. Allen didn't have that many friends, they thought his naturally white hair, and the discolouration on his left arm was weird. Lavi was the very first person to know him as a real person and not as the primary school freak who looked funny.

The next day the two slept in until twelve, and when they woke up, the sky was clouded and grey, and it was raining heavily.

'Damn...' Allen sighed, looking out the window, 'I gotta walk home in that too...'

'Want me to call a taxi?'

'Nah, it's alright.'

'Then here.' Lavi appeared by Allen's side, holding an umbrella, 'Give it back next time we see eachother.'

'Kay,' Allen nodded, smiling gratefully as he took it.

They said goodbye on the door step, and then Allen opened the umbrella and ran out into the dark empty street, splashing puddles everywhere as he hurried home. Staying at Lavi's house always put him in a good mood, and right now, he couldn't keep the smile off his face, despite the dreary weather.

After a while, his adrenalin ran out and he slowed to a walking pace. It was then he heard someone call out to him.

'My, what a strange looking boy.'

Allen turned to see who had addressed him, but as he did, he felt himself being pushed back into the brick wall next to him, a hand over his mouth. He dropped the umbrella and tried to struggle.

'You're very cute though...' A man in his late twenties with dark hair grinned at him, watching him try to kick out. Allen gave a muffled scream as his grip tightened.

--

Allen unlocked the door to his house and limped in, every muscle in his body screaming in agony with each movement. He was dripping wet, and as he closed the door, he leant against it, feeling the cool timber against his cheek. He then slowly sank to the ground and put his head in his hands, silent tears mixing with the rain drops on his face.

--

**Yup, that's the chapter finished. Bit shocking is it not?**

**REVEIW!**


	3. a way to escape

**DON'T OWN D.GRAY-MAN!**

**Oh, And sorry for the late update, but dad just got me the sims 2 on my computer and i've been drawn in, but i' not gonna play for a few days so yay for you.**

**--**

Sunlight shone through the window. Allen slowly opened his eyes and looked up. He had fallen asleep at the door. He couldn't believe it. Yesterday didn't happen. It couldn't have. Why would anyone do such a horrible thing to him? But it had happened. There were bruises where the man had held him and hit him when he struggled, and there were rips in his clothes. He wondered briefly about getting up to make breakfast, but the thought of eating didn't sound very appealing. He only wanted to do one thing.

He got on his hands and knees and crawled over to where the phone lay on the table in the entrance hall. He sat under the table, took the phone, dialled and held it to his ear. It rang a few times, then-

'Hello!' Lavi sounded cheerful, 'Bookman residence!'

Allen opened his mouth to speak, but all that came out was a strangled sob as tears poured down his cheeks.

'Hello?' Lavi repeated, 'Anyone there? '

Allen's hands shook as turned off the phone and put it back on the table. He hugged his knees to his chest and rested his forehead on them, shuddering. He couldn't tell Lavi, he didn't want to burden him with something like this. And besides, last night, the man...Allen winced at the memory. No, he couldn't tell anyone. Not ever.

--

Lavi rapped on the door and opened it to poke his head in.

'Yoohoo! Allen!'

No answer.

Curious, Lavi came in and shut the door behind him, then walked down the entrance hall to the lounge room. Allen was asleep on the couch. Grinning, Lavi walked closer to give him a surprise wake up call, but then, he stopped.

It had been three days since he'd last seen Allen and the boy was still wearing his uniform, which looked dirty and torn. Lavi scratched his head, confused, then leaned forward and gently shook Allen's shoulder. Usually it took a few tries to wake Allen from sleep, but this time his grey eyes shot open immediately, and he cried out and swung his fist at Lavi.

'WAH!' Lavi sweatdropped as he dodged Allen's hand, 'Geez Allen it's just me!'

Allen stared as he sat up. Lavi was surprised by how pale and fearful the younger boy looked.

'L-Lavi, what are you... What are doing here?' Allen's voice shook, and sounded higher then usual. Lavi raised his eyebrow, concerned.

'Allen are you sick or something?'

'NO!' Allen shook his head quickly, 'I'm just a little... I'm... Lavi what are you here for?'

'I just came to see if you wanted to go down the street with me.'

'Oh. Um...'

Lavi was really confused. Allen was acting really strangely today. He placed a hand on his shoulder, and Allen's head snapped around, looking at it as though it was an alien or some disgusting creature. Lavi cautiously removed his hand, sweatdropping.

'Allen, are you sure you're ok?'

'I'm fine. I'll go with you if you want but first I have to go change.'

Lavi nodded and Allen stood up and disappeared out of the lounge. The redhead sighed and ran his fingers through his hair stressfully. He hated to think Allen was upset about something and wouldn't even talk about it, but he wasn't going to nag if he didn't want to say.

A few minutes passed, and Allen reappeared in jeans and a t-shirt, still putting on a jacket. As he did, Lavi suddenly gasped and stood up.

'Allen, your arms are bruised! What the hell happened?'

Allen glanced at one of his arms. It was covered in bluish marks.

'Fell over.' He said stiffly.

'ON BOTH YOUR ARMS?!'

'Yes, I tripped twice. Now drop it and let's go.'

Lavi was a little taken aback by Allen's harsh manner, but shrugged and followed him to the door. He suddenly remembered something.

'Oh! Allen, can I have my umbrella back please?'

Allen froze, hand on the door knob, his shoulder muscles tensed. Lavi noticed his hand was twitchng slightly as he took a deep breath.

'L-lost it...' Allen's voice was strained, 'I'm sorry.'

'You lost it? How?'

'I just did so leave it! I'll buy you a new one if it means that fucking much to you!'

Allen passed through the doorway and slammed it shut, leaving a bewildered redhead behind. Allen never swore like, and he never talked like that to anyone, not even his enimies. He'd never been so moody before.

'Either he's secretly a girl and PMS-ing...' Lavi thought, 'Or something is seriously wrong.'

--

The two boys went to one of the cafe's and ordered lunch. While they waited, Lavi talked, but Allen kept his gaze down, scratching his arm nervously, a feeling of tightness in his chest. He felt exposed; he didn't want to be here.

An image of that night flashed through his mind and he fought back the urge to cry. And then, he felt Lavi place a hand on his shoulder.

He tensed, squeezing his eyes shut, and he felt his heartbeat quicken. He started shaking uncontrolably. The touch burned.

'I-I HAVE TO GO!' Allen stood up so fast he knocked the chair over, and ran to the bathroom. He could vaguely hear Lavi call after him, but right now, after everything, he didn't want to face him.

--

Allen slammed the door shut, locked it, and leant against it, tears now dripping nto the floor. More images flashed through his head, and he couldn't supress a small scream. He shook his head, trying to clear it, but it wouldn't stop. He just wanted to forget.

He took a deep breath and went over to the sink. He turned the tap on and splashed water in his face, trying to calm himself. He heard a knock.

'Allen?' Lavi called, 'Are you ok?'

'I'm fine.' Allen called, trying to sound cheerful. 'Sorry about before, i was feeling a bit off this morning.'

'That's ok...' Lavi sounded releived, 'Long as you're ok now.'

'Hm, I'll be out in a second.'

He heard Lavi leave, and the white haired boy turned off the tap and drie his hands. As he opened the door and walked out, he felt much calmer. Why? Because he had come to a desician, a way to escape this. He was going to kill himself.

--

**Ok, i know the story seems a bit off, but i have never been raped fortunately so i'm not sure how a victum would act or feel, so i'm kind of winging it. REVEIW! **


	4. Cut

**Quick update, I know, but whatever.**

**Still not owning it anymore then I did a few hours ago.**

**--**

Deciding to kill yourself was not a thing you just came up with suddenly. Allen had been thinking about it since the night he was raped. He had been plagued by horrific flashbacks, night mares and sudden feelings of sickness for three days, with no sign of it letting up. He attempted to consider telling someone, but if he did, what would they think? They'd think he was disgusting, they'd think he was stupid for not fighting back. He'd tried to fight back, but the pain had made almost impossible to move.

And now, he couldn't even bare for his best friend whom he loved to touch him... No, he couldn't even look at him without feeling pain.

'Allen?' Lavi's voice cut through the younger boy's thoughts, 'Something wrong with your food? You're not eating.'

Allen blinked and looked down at the sandwich in his hand, only a small bite taken from the side. He sighed.

'Nah, I'm just not that hungry...'

Lavi sighed. Allen had been acting normal after he got out of the bathroom, but he'd quickly reverted back to being mopey. He reached forward and touched Allen's hand. Normally this would cause Allen to blush and stutter, but instead he withdrew his hand quickly, a pained look on his face.

'Allen, seriously, I know you. There's something wrong. Tell me.'

'No Lavi...' Allen shook his head.

'Is it something I've done?'

'What? No, you're great... Look, I'm just a bit upset at the moment cos... Well, cos my parents called and they said they would be gone for the rest of the year and I'm sick of them missing my birthday every year, as well as Christmas.'

'Really?' Lavi's one visible eye widened, 'Well if you feel that way maybe you should talk to them, ask them to come home.'

'No, I can't ask them to do that, they have important work.'

'Work more important then you? Come on Allen, they're your parents, I'm sure they'd come home.'

'It's fine...'

'But-'

'Drop it Lavi.'

Allen's tone was so commanding and final Lavi shut his mouth. The white haired boy then stood up.

'I'll see you later Lavi.'

Before Lavi could return his goodbye, he left.

As he walked home, he thought of Lavi and his throat burned. He'd been so concerned, and Allen had just lied through his teeth. But how could you tell your best friend you couldn't stand to look at them without feeling pain? How could you tell them you wanted to die?

You couldn't.

--

When Allen got home he locked the door and went to feed the fish. He was surprised to find them belly up on the surface of the tank, but then realised he hadn't fed them in three days. He sighed heavily and went up the stairs to his room. It was a simple room of a typical teenager. It had an unmade bed with mismatched sheets and covers, the walls were covered with posters of bands and the occasional anime poster. There was a bookcase next to a dresser, and the floor was littered with pieces of paper and the odd bit of clothing.

He went over to the bookcase and pulled out a photo album. He curled up on his bed and flicked through it, watching as the people reappearing in the pictures aged from children to teenagers. At the start of the book it was just him and his parents, him as a baby, then as a toddler. Then he was joined by a boy with messy red hair and a cheesy grin, an eye patch covering one eye, which he had lost in the fire that killed his parents after a piece of burning wood hit him. There were pictures of other people too, the stoic face of the Japanese boy Kanda Yu, that had moved to their school, the Chinese girl Lenalee, who Lavi flirted with and causing an immeasurable amount of Jealousy in Allen in the process, and other students their age they had met over the years.

Allen would miss them, but it's not like it would be a big loss to them. He was the shy boy who looked kind of strange, never making an impact on people, never doing anything special. Kanda wouldn't miss him, all they did was fight. Lenalee might be sad, but she was sad about everything. His parents... Well, they hardly knew he existed, he doubted if they could even find time to go to his funeral.

And Lavi...

Well, he wasn't sure what Lavi would do, how he would react... Well, they had been friends since primary school, so he would be sad. But would he cry? Would he go to his funeral? Would he remember him? He didn't know, but then, Allen might have been in love with him, but he didn't return those feelings. He would be sad, but he'd eventually get over it, and find a new friend, or a girlfriend.

The world wouldn't miss Allen Walker.

--

Allen opened the door to his parent's rarely-used room and went over to the large desk in the corner. He opened the draws and shuffled through them, until he found it; a small wooden hilt. He picked it up delicately, pressed a switch on the side and a sharp jagged blade popped out. Before his father was a scientist, he'd been in the army, and he'd kept this knife with him as protection. It could slice through anything, guaranteed to kill the opponent if used correctly.

To test it out, he pressed the blade to the tender white skin on the underside of his arm. There was a small amount of pain as it sliced through from the slightest pressure, red liquid beading along the metal before pooling and sliding down to his hand. He cleaned the knife on the inside of his jacket and then hurried out of the room to the bathroom, where he turned on the tap and began to rinse the blood off.

'That's quite a paper cut you got there.'

Allen gasped and yelled, and wizzed around to see Lavi stading behind him. He weakly grabbed the sink basin to stop his suddenly weak knees from giving out.

'L-Lavi... What-'

'You left your wallet at the restaurant,' Lavi explained, holding it up. He glanced at Allen's arm.

'What happened there?'

'Tripped and cut myself on a broken tile.'

'Hm...'

Without another word, Lavi gently grabbed Allen's injured arm, and reached up into the bathroom cupboard where he knew the bandages were. He unrolled one and began wrapping Allen's arm. As he did, he looked at the shorter boy. His eyes were downcast, his expression sad, with just the faintest hint of pink on his cheeks.

'Allen... Did you do this on purpose?'

'No...' Allen shook his head. There it was, another lie. He never thought in all of history he would need to lie to Lavi like this, and now, all he had done was lie to him. He wished that night had never happened, he wished things had been different.

'Are you sure?' Lavi's voice was calm and unjudgemental, and full of honest concern. Allen felt his heart scream as he shook his head again.

'Lavi, I didn't cut myself.'

Lavi slowly nodded, and let Allen's hand slip out of his. He put the wallet on the counter, then went to the door. Before he left, he paused.

'Listen, Allen, I want you to know you don't need to hide anything from me, if theres anything at all you need to talk about... I wont judge you.'

'Goodbye, Lavi.'

Allen's voice was flat, and lacked any emotion at all. All Lavi could do was smile and leave.

--

**Wow, angsty. But come on, who doesn't love angst?**

**REVEIW!**


	5. Goodbye Lavi

**I still don't own d.gray-man**

**Kanda's kinda ooc in this chap.**

**--**

Lavi picked up the phone and dialled, and listened to it ring. A second later, a stoic voice answered.

'Hello?' Kanda Yu said in Japanese.

'Hi Yu, its Lavi.'

'Quit calling me that! What do you want?'

'Um... Advice.'

He heard his friend Kanda sigh. Kanda wasn't the most patient person on earth, but he was smart, and his mother was a psychologist. He hoped he could help.

'Can't it wait till I get back? I'm still in Japan!'

'I know, but... I think something's wrong with Allen.'

'Yeah? What?'

'Um, well... He's been acting really moody, and he's acting kind of scared about everything, and yesterday I went to his house and there was a big cut down his arm.'

'I see... Have you tried talking to him about?'

'Yeah, heaps of times, but he always gets angry and yells at me or something. You think I should tell his parents?'

'Dunno, but if you did that behind his back that might only create more problems.'

'Yeah, you're right... But what should I do?'

'Well, keep trying to talk to him. If things get worse, then tell someone.'

'Ok. Well, gotta go before the long distance phone bill gets me killed.'

'Good. Bye.'

Lavi hung up, then dialled Allen's number. He waited, but there was no answer. He sighed and put down the phone, massaging his temples stressfully.

'Dammit Allen...'

--

Allen lay on his couch, flicking channels aimlessly, trying to drown out the noise of the phone ringing. He knew it was Lavi, who else would try to ring him for two hours straight with no answer?

He wanted to answer, but if he did, Lavi would get all caring and concerned about him and keep asking what's wrong, and right now, the younger boy didn't think he could handle it. Finally, he couldn't take it anymore. He got up, went over to the phone, and unplugged it. The ringing stopped, but it did nothing to repair Allen's mood. He breathed deeply and went up the stairs to clean up his room.

He'd decided he was going to kill himself tomorrow, so as a last favour to his absent parents, he was tidying the house up for when they came home to find their son dead. He'd considered calling them, and a few times he'd even picked up the phone, but it was the same as Lavi; no words came out.

As he folded his clothes and hung them up, he wondered briefly if he should leave a note, but then shook his head. No, that was too cliché. Besides, he didn't really have anything to say.

About fifteen minutes later, he heard a knock at the door. He looked through the window to see Lavi at the door, looking worried that the door was locked. Shaking slightly, Allen lay on his bed and covered his ears until the knocking stopped, and he was sure Lavi had left.

'I'm sorry Lavi.'

--

It was a cloudy day, and the cold bit at Allen's face as he walked down the pathway, avoiding any people he came across. He stuck his hands in his pocket and felt the knife handle. He was going to his old primary school; he wanted to die in the place that had caused him so much happiness, the place he had met Lavi. He sighed. Since it was school holidays, it would probably be a while before anyone found his body... But then, that wasn't his problem.

After a few more minutes of walking, he came to the front gates of the school. It was set about two kilometres from the rest of the town, connected by a field and a sports oval, with a set of payphones out the front. He was tall enough to climb the fence easily to get to the playground out the back, but he found himself frozen, unsure from what.

He thought of Lavi.

Though he had been doing his best to distance himself from the older boy for the past few days, he really wanted to speak to him, to hear his voice one last time. He knew that was a bad idea but at this point, it didn't matter about anything he did, because he would be gone by the end of the day.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet, which he'd brought from habit, and as he walked over to the pay phone he pulled out a couple of dollars. He picked up the receiver with a shaking hand, put the money in and dialled.

'Hello?'

Allen opened his mouth to speak, but his voice caught in his throat.

'Hello?' Lavi repeated, 'Anyone there?'

'Hi Lavi...' Allen forced his voice to work. Hearing Lavi's voice had given him the sudden urge to cry.

'Allen! Thank god I was getting worried. Are you ok? Where are you?'

'I... I'm on a pay phone and I... Please don't hate me.'

'What?' Lavi sounded confused, 'Allen I could never hate you!'

'You will...' Allen was sobbing now, 'I'm sorry... So sorry...'

'Sorry for what? Why are you crying? Look, tell me where you are, I'll come get you and we can talk-'

'Goodbye Lavi...' Allen's hand shook as he went to replace the phone.

'NO! ALLEN! WAIT-!'

Silence. Allen leant his forehead against the glass wall, tears streaming down his face. He hadn't accomplished anything by calling Lavi, and rather then comfort him ,the sound of his voice only mad him feel sad and guilty, and worse in general.

'Let's get this stupid thing over with...'

He left the phone booth, took a running start and hopped to the top of the fence. He then clambered over the top and dropped to the ground on the other side, stumbling slightly when he landed. He took a deep breath and went around to the other side.

Seeing the old playground, he smiled slightly. It hadn't changed at all since he'd left, and he felt calmed as he walked to the flying fox, the place he'd met his best friend. He sat down on the base, got the knife out, and fiddled with it absent-mindedly. It was strange. Meeting Lavi had made him happier then he'd ever been, yet, if he hadn't have met Lavi, he wouldn't have been walking home and he wouldn't have been raped. He didn't blame this on Lavi, not for a second, but still, he wondered what would have happened if things had been different.

But, what happened happened, and nothing could change it.

With that thought, Allen gripped the handle of the knife, and with a shaking hand he held it to the important vein in his arm.

'_Goodbye Lavi.'_

And then he slashed, and the grass was spattered with blood.

--

**I'm addicted to cliffhangers somebody stop me!1!!**

**Yeah, so, hope you enjoyed the chapter, i might only be able to write one or two more chapters after this.**

**REVEIW!**


	6. The second rain

**I don't own it!**

**--**

Allen was drifting in and out of unconsciousness. He was vaguely aware he was curled up on the metal, and that he was soaked in blood, but other then that, it was all kind of blurry. He felt tired and weak, and his arm was killing him. He felt cold.

Then he heard someone call out his name. It sounded far off and hollow, but it sounded familiar. He opened his eyes a bit.

Lavi was sitting next o him, tying an orange scarf around Allen's arm in an attempt to stop the heavy bleeding. His hands were trembling, and when Allen focussed his eyes a bit more, he could see the older boy crying.

'L-Lavi...'

'Don't talk.' Lavi instructed, 'You've lost a lot of blood. I... I called the ambulance but they said it could take a while to get here...'

He stopped to wipe the tears from his eyes. Allen had never seen Lavi cry, not even when they were little and had fallen over. He'd always been the brave one, the one that laughed in the face of fear.

And now he was so terrified he was trembling.

'I'm sorry Lavi...' Allen struggled to get his voice to work, 'I'm so sorry...'

Lavi didn't answer. He gently scooped Allen under his back and moved his head into Lavi's lap so he was more comfortable.

'Do you hate me?' Allen asked, looking up fearfully to try and read Lavi's face.

'No,' Lavi sighed, 'I'm just angry.'

'I'm sorry..'

'Stop saying that. I'm not angry at you, I'm angry at myself! You're my best friend, and i could tell something was wrong, and I just let you go and try to kill yourself.'

'No, you tried to help but i... i...'

Allen was crying too now. He was unable to go on, lest his voice come out in sobs. Lavi smiled weakly down at him, though his eye still held sorrow.

'Truce?'

Allen nodded and snuggled into Lavi's lap, trying to escape from the unusual cold. Lavi took off his jacket and spread it over Allen's side, and started stroking his soft hair. He didn't go back to sleep, but rather drifted into a daze. He felt very confused.

He had been so sure he wanted to die, so sure it was the only solution, yet here he was, happy Lavi had found him and stopped him. Cautiously, the fifteen year old slowly reached up with his good hand and gripped the edge of Lavi's shirt, not having the strength to go up further. He felt Lavi grip his hand gently in his own.

'Heh,' He heard Lavi chuckle, 'The old playground. This is the place we met, you know.'

'I remember...' Allen nodded slightly.

'Allen... Why'd you try to kill yourself?'

Allen felt himself go cold at the question. He breathed deeply.

'I-I was raped.'

'...O-oh my god...' Lavi sounded horrified, 'Allen, I... I... Oh god Allen...'

Allen felt the redhead grip tighter. He pressed his cheek to the back of Lavi's hand, and Lavi felt hot tears drip from Allen's eyes onto his skin. Far off, a siren could be heard, drowned out by a crack of thunder, and when the ambulence arrived it started to rain.

--

Lavi sat with his head in his hands in the waiting room while the doctors dealt with Allen. Allen had been raped. The cute, little Allen Walker who had never done a bad thing in his life, who was kind and thoughtful, and his best friend... Had been raped.

And he'd been dealing with that all by himself since it happened, it was no wonder he'd tried to commit suicide.

'Dammit,' He muttered quietly, 'Why didn't I see he was like this? I knew there was something wrong, but... Ugh...'

Just then, a nurse came to the door and said he could see Allen now. He jumped up and hurried down the hall to his room. Allen lay on the bed, his arm bandaged. Lavi quietly closed the door behind him and sat on the chair next to the bed. He carefully reached forward and gently brushed a snowy lock of hair from his face. The touch caused Allen to open his eyes.

'Sorry,' Lavi tried to smile, 'Were you sleeping?'

'Uh-uh...' Allen drowsily shook his head, 'really sleepy from the pain killers though...'

'I'll let you sleep then.'

Lavi made to stand up, but Allen reached out and limply took his hand. Lavi glanced at their hands, and then glanced back at Allen, whose eyes were already drooping.

'Can you... Can you please stay for a while?'

Lavi hesitated for a moment, then smiled, nodded and sat down again.

--

For the next few minutes, Allen drifted in and out of sleep, not wanted to fall asleep while Lavi was there, but at the same time the painkillers were working, making his mind fuzzy and his eyelids heavy as lead. He felt sleep coming nearer and nearer.

'Lavi...' He mumbled quietly.

'Hm?'

'Love you...'

Lavi blinked in surprise, and his soft smile disappeared. He sighed.

'You should go to sleep, you're tired.'

Allen nodded and snuggled deeper into the blankets.

--

**Ok, only a little while to go!**

**REVEIW!**


	7. Confession

**I'M SICK OF DISCLAIMERS!1!!**

**Heh, I actually yelled that out while I wrote it.**

**--**

Lavi walked along the trodden path towards the primary school to retrieve his bike from the bushes there. He felt kind of weird. Yesterday, after talking to the distressed Allen on the phone, he'd hopped on his bike and ridden across to town and searching the area around all the payphones he knew of. The school, fortunately, had been the second choice, and Lavi shuddered to think what would have happened had he arrived any later.

He located the bushes, dragged his bike out, climbed onto the seat and began riding back to town, towards Allen's house. The hospital had admitted Allen into the psychiatric ward, and Lavi had offered to pick up some things for him. He'd left the boy talking to his sobbing mother on the phone, with him trying to calm her down. Lavi didn't want to leave Allen; he was too scared of what could happen while he was gone. But the nurses were keeping him under surveillance so there was no reason he couldn't go out for about an hour.

He came to Allen's house, took out the key the younger boy had given him, unlocked the door and headed towards his room. He was still shaken up from yesterday, and as he passed through the doors, he remembered the first time he'd come here.

He'd been about nine, and Allen had been eight. It was before Allen's parents had started going overseas for research, so his mum and dad had greeted him at the door, with Allen running up behind them, a big smile on his face. To think Allen would have never smiled again...

Lavi shook his head, trying to clear the thoughts. He came to Allen's room, and found his school bag at the door. He took it, went to the wardrobe and started piling clothes into the bag. He paused as he came to a shirt with an anime logo on it. It was a shirt Allen had bought when they'd gone to an anime convention. They'd had such a great time there.

After finishing packing two or three changes of clothes, Lavi shouldered the bag and left, locking the house behind him.

--

'I got your stuff.' Lavi sat down, putting the bag under the bed as he did. Allen smiled. He was sitting cross-legged on the bed, reading a book. There was an empty food tray on the table.

'You had breakfast?'

'Yup,' Allen nodded shyly, 'Stuff was terrible...'

There was an awkward silence. Lavi sighed. He had no idea how to talk to Allen now that... THAT had happened.

'I- I talked to the police while you were gone...' Allen scratched his shoulder nervously, 'Gave them a description and stuff.'

'Good,' Lavi nodded. Another silence.

'Lavi...' Allen sighed heavily, 'You don't have to act all nervous around me. I'm not made of glass. If you want to say something to me, you can. I won't get upset.'

'I dunno...' Lavi stared at his hands in his lap, 'I'm just freaked out... I mean, you had to go through all that by yourself. You could have told me.'

'I know I could have...' Allen nodded sadly, 'But I wasn't really... I thought if I told you, you wouldn't like me anymore.'

'What?!'

'I know it sounds silly, but... Come on, you said it yourself! You're freaked out and you aren't really sure how to act around me. I didn't want to trouble you, I thought I could handle it, but obviously I can't... I was afraid you'd hate me and I was afraid you'd be disgusted by me.

'Well I don't,' Lavi smiled, 'and I'm not. So don't worry...'

'Kay...'

'Um,' Lavi looked at him sheepishly, 'you, um... You don't want to die right now do you?'

'... No,' Allen shook his head after a bit of thought, 'I just kind of feel... Well, the doctors and psychiatrists say I have depression so I guess that's what I feel... But I feel a bit better now.'

'Hm... Allen?'

'Yes?'

'Is it alright if I give you a hug?'

Allen smiled and nodded. Lavi got onto the bed and pulled him into a tight but gentle embrace. Allen tensed slightly at his touch, but eventually relaxed a bit. Hugging Lavi, he felt safe and warm, and never wanted to let go. But, there was one thing that bothered him as Lavi pulled away and went back to his seat.

'Lavi, last night I told you I was in love with you.'

'I know.' Lavi suddenly went stiff.

'But you haven't said anything. Are you ok with that?'

'Yes,' Lavi sighed.

Allen raised his eyebrow. Lavi was acting off.

'So... Is that a rejection?'

'I said I'm ok with it.'

'That's not what I'm asking!'

'Look,' Lavi fisted his hands in his lap, not looking up, 'please don't say you're in love with me.'

'So then you're not ok with it?' Allen blinked, confused.

'I am, but if you keep talking about it i might get hopeful!'

'Hopeful about what?'

'THAT YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH ME!'

'Wha-what? But I just said I was, and why would you be hopeful?'

'Because I've loved you for ages,' Lavi said flatly, 'But I you only _think_ you're in love with me because I helped you at the school.'

'What? No! Lavi, I might be really confused and depressed right now but that doesn't mean I'm confusing my emotions! I'm not an emotional wreck!'

'I never said that! I'm only saying you're confusing your feelings, and that once you're a bit better you'll lose those feelings for me!'

'That's not true! I-'

Allen wanted to go on, but before he could, the door opened and a nurse came in, grabbed the back of Lavi's shirt and proceeded to drag him out, scolding him for upsetting the patient.

Allen sighed as the door shut again, and the nurse came back in to check he was alright. He assured her he was, and then laid down on the bed as she left. Allen had only ever fought with Lavi once or twice, but the experience always left him upset.

Sighing heavily, he rolled onto his side. He felt kind of comforted; however, that Lavi had just admitted he loved him. But after that, and all that Allen had done over the last few days, He could see why Lavi didn't believe his feelings. But he was sure he loved Lavi, he'd been sure for years, and that hadn't changed in the least.

--

'Hello?'

'Yu, it's Lavi.'

'Oh great, what now?'

'Well, things with Allen haven't been going so well.'

'Yeah what happened?'

'Um, he tried to kill himself.'

'... You're kidding me!'

'I'm not.'

'Shit!'

'I know.'

'Well why'd he do that?' Kanda urged Lavi to go on.

'Um, well a certain thing happened and that made him depressed. And then he told me that he loved me and I thought he was just confused and then he yelled at him and told him that I loved him but didn't want his fake love and then he got really upset and yelled at me and now I have no idea what to do and I think he hates me so please help!'

'...What?'

'Never mind...'

Lavi finished talking to Kanda and put down the phone. He sighed. He had no Idea what to do. He couldn't go back to the hospital, since visiting hours were over, and he couldn't call Allen, since phones weren't allowed. He felt hopeless.

But then, the phone rang, and he picked it up.

'Hello? Bookman res-'

'Lavi!'

Lavi blinked.

'Allen? Why are you on a phone?'

'Your mobile fell out of your pocket and I'm using it. Listen... Please believe me when I say I love you.'

'Oh Allen...' Lavi sighed, running his fingers through his hair stressfully, 'Please...'

'Shut up please. I've loved you since we were kids, but I had to keep it a secret because I thought if you found out you wouldn't want to be my friend! So just... Beleive me.'

Lavi was speechless. He stood, holding the phone, his mouth open slightly.

'Lavi?'

'Y-Yeah, I'm here... Um... Are you sure?'

'Yes.'

'Ok... Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow during visiting hours.'

'Is that an acceptance?"

'Obviously.'

--

**Ok, that's the official end of the story, but I'm gonna do an epilogue and maybe an omake in a week or two after I get back.**

**Ok, um... Basically, my younger sister is in hospital in the city,and since my mum needs to stay with her I have to live at my dads place in Sydney, but mum and i are going home to the country today for a little while and we don't have a phone connection out there so no internet. I'll be back in a week or two though so till then everything is on hiatus! See you guys later!**

**REVEIW!**


	8. Filler

**Hmm….. You know what? I think I'll continue this story a little longer… The ending would make me feel unsatisfied other wise.**

**I don't own anything.**

**--**

When Lavi walked to the hospital the next morning, he felt kind of surreal. Yesterday, he'd gotten with Allen over the phone. That was nice, but they'd still need to sort stuff out in person. So for now, they were only half-together.

Still, Lavi felt unbelievably happy, and there was a skip in his step.

Sure, he knew it wouldn't be the easiest relationship, since they were both boys and then there was Allen's trauma, but he was sure everything would turn out fine. He'd been ecstatic when Allen had told him he was gay when he was about thirteen, much to Allen's surprise, and had been hoping against hope maybe Allen would fall for him. Now he found out Allen had always loved him?

It made Lavi feel like he wanted to glomp the world.

He slowed down as he walked through the hospital doors. He went in, took a lift up to the psychiatric ward, and told the nurse he was visiting Allen, trod down the mint-coloured hall, and slid the door open.

Allen looked up. He managed a nervous smile.

'H-hi, Lavi.'

'Hey...' Lavi smiled as he closed the door behind him. Allen looked kind of tired.

'You ok?' Lavi enquired, sitting on the edge of the bed.

'Yeah... Just didn't sleep very well... Um, did yesterday really happen?'

Lavi grinned and nodded. Allen sat back and sighed in relief. Lavi leaned forward and placed a hand on Allen's. Allen smiled.

Then, there was a knock at the door. Lavi removed his hand and turned to look, as did Allen. Allen's eyes widened.

'Mum!'

A woman rushed through the door, crying, and gave Allen a really tight hug. Allen gasped.

'M-mum, I can't breathe!'

Lavi grinned and stood up out of the way. Allen's mother was crying.

'My poor baby!' Mrs. Walker sobbed into Allen's shoulder, 'You wouldn't believe how worried I was! Never scare me like that again, do you hear?'

'Mum...' Allen's eyes were teary. 'You're embarrassing me in front of Lavi...'

'LAVI!' Mrs. Walker cried, jumping up and pulling Lavi into a bonecrushing hug, 'THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SAVING MY ALLEY!'

Allen went red. Lavi sniggered. Alley?

'It's ok Mrs. Walker...' Lavi patted the woman on the back, 'Anytime...'

'Where's dad?' Allen enquired.

'Mana's still out in the hall, he has to sign a heap of forms... Allen dear, why didn't you tell us? We're only a phone call away.'

'Um...' Allen's face was downcast.

'I'll just leave you to it,' Lavi said as he headed towards the door. It was obvious he needed to sort this out with his parents privately.

'B-bye Lavi.'

'Bye... Alley.'

'LAVI!'

Lavi sniggered and left the room. He trod down the hall, and passed the nurses desk where Allen's father was talking to doctors and reading papers. Allen's parent's loved him dearly, but because he never complained they didn't know he hated it when they left. Allen was cute and lovable but he really needed to learn to voice his feelings a bit more. He could understand why he didn't sometimes, but...

'Excuse me, are you Lavi Bookman?'

Lavi looked around to see a man in a white coat. He nodded.

'I'm Allen Walker's therapist. I was wondering if I could have a few words?'

'Yeah, sure.'

--

'Now, I spoke with Allen earlier this morning, and he told me you two were in a more-then-friends relationship. Is that right?'

Lavi nodded slowly. He felt kind of surprised Allen had been so ready to tell someone, particularly a complete stranger, but he guessed you weren't supposed to lie to therapists.

'Now you only got together recently, yesterday, am I right?'

'Yeah...'

'Well, you have to understand, if you wish to pursue a relationship with him, it's going to be very difficult. He may become fearful of people coming into physical contact with him, and he will no doubt be... how should I put this? Up and down with his moods. He's on medication, but there's only so much drugs can do for him. He could be depressed for years to c-'

'I know.' Lavi sighed. 'I looked up stuff on the internet. I'm not Allen and I'm not a doctor but I'm pretty sure I have a good idea of what could happen. I'm not going to rush into anything with Allen and I'm certainly not planning on leaving him just cos things get tough.'

--

Lavi and the therapist talked for a little bit longer, then Lavi left. He kind of felt sad. Therapists always looked at every time with pessimism, at least, from his experience.

But still, it had got him pretty down. So, he went back towards Allen's room. He didn't go in, just peeked through the small window in the door. Allen was sitting on his bed, his mother stroking his hair from behind him. His father sat next to them, and they seemed to be in serious discussion. Allen looked nervous, but at least he was talking. Lavi smiled, and glanced at the clock. Visiting hours would end in ten minutes, no point waiting around.

He'd come back tomorrow.

--

Two days later, they let Allen out of the hospital. Lavi spent the day with Allen at his house, watching tv and talking in his room. It was kind of weird. They weren't really doing anything different from when they were only friends, but at the same time, it felt...

Though...

Allen wasn't very.. Bright. He sort of mumbled when he talked, and just didn't have that spark he used to. Lavi wondered how long it would take for that medication to kick in. Normally anti-depressents were working in the system about a week after starting on them, and it had only been a few days, but it still made Lavi feel concerned.

He wanted to talk to Allen a little more about what was going on, if he was ok or not, but he doubted Allen wanted to discuss the drugs he was on, or the therapy sessions he was having. He'd walked in on him in the hospital while swallowing the medication. He'd choked and spluttered on the water and had shut the door in the red head's face.

'_S-sorry!' _He'd gasped, '_Could y-you just come back in five minutes?'_

He sighed. The conversation had run out again.

'Hey Allen?'

'Yeah?' Allen glanced at Lavi, wearing a weak smile.

'School goes back in a week. Think you'll go?'

'Course I am,' Allen nodded, 'It's school isn't it?'

'You sure? I mean... You've been through a lot...'

'Lavi, it's ok. It's just school.'

Lavi smiled and squeezed the younger boy's hand.

**--**

**Ok, sorry for the bad filler chapter but I need it for the rest of the plot! Anyway, REVEIW!**


	9. The third rain

**I don't own dgm.**

**--**

It was a relatively sunny day when the first day of the new school term arrived. There were a few clouds here and there, but nothing threatening. Lavi knocked on Allen's door, and was let in bye the boys mother, and made his way up to Allen's room. The door was open, and Allen was tying the laces of his shoe.

'Hey Allen!' Lavi smiled cheerily, 'Ready for school?'

'Yeah...' Allen nodded, smiling also, though it was somewhat unconfident. He finished tying his shoe and reached for his school jacket.

'You know Allen; no one's forcing you to go. If you want to stay home-'

'Lavi I'm fine.' Allen's voice had a slight chuckle to it, and Lavi felt relieved, but then Allen sighed and stared at the ground.

'But, um... People are gonna be staring at me.'

Lavi nodded slowly in understanding. Shortly after Allen was released from hospital, his story had been plastered all over the newspapers. No doubt everyone at school knew.

'I do-don't even know how the stupid reporters found out...' Allen laughed nervously, 'And don't you need someone's permission to print their name? I-I mean...'

The boy trailed off, eyes staring into space. Lavi gently grasped his shoulder, which brought him back to earth.

'Like I said, no one's forcing you to go. Do you wanna stay home?'

Allen seemed uncertain for a minute. Lavi waited patiently, and moved his hand from Allen's shoulder, and down to the younger boy's own hand, giving it a gently squeeze. Allen smiled at him.

'I'll go. It should be fine, cos you'll be there, right?'

'Right.' Lavi grinned and nodded.

--

When they got to school, people did look at Allen, some whispering behind their hands, some even being so bold as to come right up to him and asking questions to which Allen would reply "I don't really want to talk about it." Fortunately when the found Kanda and Lenalee and their other friends, they acted completely normal, though Lavi noticed Kanda wasn't as rude, and Lenalee wasn't as touchy-feely.

And then the bell rang and they went to class. Although Allen was a year younger then everyone else, he'd skipped a grade after getting to high school because he was excelling so much academically. So 

that meant he and Lavi had many of their classes together, and he was more at ease then if they didn't. Lavi, on the other hand, was kind of on edge, and felt the urge to ask Allen how he was every two minutes. He had to suffer like that for two periods, until recess when they sat down to eat.

'So how are you?' Lavi asked, trying to look confident.

'Good,' Allen smiled brightly, putting down the packet of chips he was about to open, 'But what about you? You seem kind of paranoid.'

'I'm just worried about my little Allen,' Lavi smiled, putting his arm around him. 'Say, do your parent's know we're... You know, together?'

'Um, yeah...' Allen nodded. 'They actually kind of knew I was in love with you before... Is that ok that they know?'

'Yeah, yeah, just wondering. My Gramps knows too, only he figured out. Said the only thing he was surprised about was that I ended up with you and not Yu-Chan.'

'WHAT'D YOU JUST SAY?!' Kanda glared angrily from the other end of the table.

'Nothing! My Grandfather just thinks you're gay for me.'

Kanda glared. Allen and Lavi giggled, and the Japanese boy got up and stalked off, utterly humiliated.

Just then, there was a crack of thunder. Lavi looked up in alarm, and saw the clear sky had turned stormy. As he stood, it began pouring.

He and Allen ran for cover, trying not to be knocked over by other student's. They reached a covered area and as they kidded to a halt, he felt Allen grip his hand. He glanced at the boy; Allen was looking at the rain fearfully.

'Allen...?'

Allen suddenly pressed his face into Lavi's shoulder as there was a flash of lightening, his grip painfully tight. Lavi was confused. Allen normally loved storms, he said the lightning looked cool, and afterwards everything smelt nice. So why...?

'Oh god...' He could have slapped himself for being so stupid. Of course. It had been raining that night.

'Come on Allen, we'll go down to the library. Sound good?'

Allen nodded into Lavi's arms, and Lavi put his free around the shorter's shoulder and guided him through the crowd.

--

It was quiet and warm in the library, and after sitting down in a quiet empty corner, hidden by shelves, Allen quickly calmed down.

'You alright?' Lavi asked in concern as Allen sighed and leant his head back against the wall.

'Hm...' Allen made an affirmative noise. 'S-sorry... Dunno what just happened... It was like... Ugh...'

Lavi leant over and gently stroked the boy's snowy hair. Allen made a contented noise and rested his head on the redhead's shoulder, closing his eyes. Neither of them knew how long they sat there for, but soon, the bell rang and they had to go to class. They both got up and went out the doors towards their lockers.

'What do we have?' Allen asked as they trod up some stairs.

'English and art I think...'

'Kay... I'll just go to the bathroom and I'll meet you there.'

Lavi nodded, and as they reached the top of the stairs, he went one way and Allen went the other.

--

Allen flushed the toilet, let himself out of the cubicle, and went over to the sink to wash his hands. He felt good. To be back at school, in the old routine, it made him feel calmed... And having Lavi put his arm around him, hold his hand, stroke his hair... That just made it all the better. Though... They hadn't kissed yet. Allen was kind of grateful that Lavi hadn't pushed anything on him, but still... He was starting to wonder what it would be like to kiss him.

Lost in his thoughts, the white hired boy turned off the tap and dried his hands on his pants. Then, he heard a voice that made his entire body go cold.

'Well hello again.'

Allen turned in shock, and tried to scream as the man who raped him pushed him into the wall hard. He covered his mouth with his hand, and pinned his arms above his head.

'Now now, don't ruin the fun for me.'

Tears poured down Allen cheeks as he struggled in vein. The man moved his face closer, his yellow eyes glinting evilly.

--

**Uh oh, im doing the cliffie thing again. Sorry.**

**Hey, did you guys know Kanda's first name means Hot Water? I read it on Wiki. Lol, it suits him.**

**REVEIW!**


	10. Allen dissapears

**Hehe, um, soz bout the cliffie, it probably killed a few of you….**

**Btw, this chapter is pretty unrealistic, but whatever it's a fanfic.**

**I don't own this.**

**--**

'NNN!' Allen screamed into the hand that was blocking his mouth. He kicked and struggled, unable to believe this could happen again.

'Stay still and be quiet!' The man hissed, a sadistic smile on his face. 'Ah, to imagine my luck that the school I was going to start teaching at would be the same one that you went. You know….' His voice dropped to a whisper, 'You're one of my favorites. '

Allen made a sobbing noise, his face wet from uncontrollable tears. Then man sighed.

'Anyway, you told the police about me. That's very bad, so of course, you need to be punished. True, they don't even suspect me, but still… And…. If you tell anyone, I'll make sure that redheaded boy you seem to be fond of will have the worse punishment of all.'

Allen's eyes widened in fear and he stopped struggling. The man grinned, and took his hand from Allen's face. He made no noise, so he reached to unbutton the boys shirt. Allen shut his eyes, trembling with fear. He wanted to curl up and die, he didn't want this to happen again, but he couldn't scream, he couldn't let Lavi get hurt because of him...

_**CRACK!**_

Allen felt the man's grip slip away after the loud sound, and there was a thump as he hit the floor. Shaking against the wall, he opened his eyes to see him unconscious on the bathroom tiling. Kanda was standing over him, panting angrily and holding a wooden broom that had snapped in half, the two pieces holding together by a few splinters.

'Fucking psycho... ' Kanda dropped the broom on the ground. Allen stared at him, unable to say anything. Suddenly, his energy drained and he slid to the floor. He couldn't stop trembling.

'Oi Beansprout! Are you ok?' Kanda's voice sounded hollow and far-off. 'Beansprout?'

Allen's vision was fading...

'BEANSPROUT!'

--

'He's ok, I think he just passed out from the shock of it. Poor little thing...'

'H-have you been able to get onto his parents?'

'No, there has been no answer...'

'Wha-what's going on...?' Allen opened his eyes. He was in the dimly lit sick bay of the school.

'Allen!' Lavi was at his side, 'Oh my god, I'm so sorry this happened! I shouldn't have left you alone! I-'

Allen wasn't listening. He just lay there, vaguely aware of Lavi talking hysterically. Then, without warning, tears leaked from the corner of his eyes. He sat up and pulled Lavi into a hug, the redhead's school blazer getting wet as he did.

'Allen...' Lavi touched his hair.

'I wanna go home Lavi, I just really wanna go home...'

'Well we haven't been able to get onto your parent's yet.'

'Then call a taxi, I don't care. Just get me out of here.'

Lavi was silent for a minute, and then sighed heavily.

'Let me go talk to the teachers, I'll see if they'll let you go.'

Allen nodded and Lavi laid him back on the bed. He gazed blankly up at the cool-coloured ceiling. It was warm in this room, but still, Allen couldn't help but shiver.

'Allen' Lavi came back in after an immeasurable amount of time, 'I'm taking you home, Taxi's outside.'

'Y-you don't need to look after me...' Allen's voice was weak.

'Come on...' Lavi grabbed his hand and helped him off the bed. He had to keep his arm around Allen's waist as they walked. Allen stared down, watching their feet move. He was aware of them stopping at the front desk, next to which the sick bay was located. He heard teachers talking, and nodded as though he knew what they were saying. And then there was the crunch of gravel, and they were sitting in the back of the taxi. Lavi told the driver Allen's address, and the white haired boy felt the taxi moving.

'You don't need to look after me.' Allen repeated in a stronger voice.

'I want to.'

'Well maybe I don't want you to. I can be at home by myself. You should go back to school.'

'Allen, you know I can't leave you at home by yourself-'

'Why?!' Allen snapped angrily, 'Cos you don't trust me?! You think I'm crazy. You think I'm going to go psycho and cut myself open!'

'Allen it's got nothing to do with what I think or whether I trust you! Please, calm down and-'

'I'm NOT going to calm down! I DON'T NEED TO FUCKING CALM DOWN!'

'All-' Lavi tried to place a hand on his shoulder, but Allen slapped him away.

'GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME YOU BASTARD!'

'Is your friend alright back there?' The taxi driver was looking at them through the mirror in confusion.

'I think we might need to go to the hospital, could-'

'I'M FINE!' Allen's voice was high. He raised his fist to hit Lavi, and struggled when Lavi caught it. 'I don't need a doctor!'

'H-Hospital please!' Lavi tried to make himself heard over Allen.

'I'M TELLING YOU I DON'T WANT TO GO!'

Allen unbuckled his seat belt, and threw open the car door. The cab screeched to a halt as Allen jumped out and took off into the trees they were driving past.

'SHIT!' Lavi swore. He unbuckled his own belt, hopped out the open door, and took out his wallet and dropped it in the driver's open window to pay for the taxi, then ran after the younger boy.

'Allen wait!'

He called out to Allen as he pushed his way through bushes and trees as quickly as possible. He could hear Allen up ahead, but the sound was fading.

'ALLEN PLEASE!'

'GET LOST! I WANT TO BE ALONE!'

Then the sounds of Allen disappeared all together. Lavi swore again and pushed his way through, not stopping when the branches tore at his skin and scratched his face and ripped his clothes. Somewhere in this wooded area was a lake, and Allen was heading right for it.

'Allen! Allen! ALLEN!' Lavi kept calling as he struggled through. Allen was smaller; he'd be able to get through quicker. He had to find him, he had to stop him. He couldn't risk losing him. He felt a rain drop hit his nose as it started sprinkling from the sky.

'DAMMIT! ALLEEEEEEN!'

--

**Eek, i did it again. Ok, please refrain from throwing sharp pointy things at me.**

**Review!**


	11. The last rain

**I don't own this. last real chapter guys!**

**--**

_Allen!_

Lavi called out the name repeatedly, struggling through bushes and trees. He didn't stop even after he tripped and fell. Vaguely aware of something hot trickling down his shins, he got back up and ran.

At last, he came to a clearing and stopped, doubled over and panting.

'Dammit…' He gasped, trying to catch his breath, 'If Allen dies just cos I couldn't keep up…'

He shook his head. He couldn't think like that. He had to find Allen now. It was raining heavily. Next to being depressed and scared, he was probably cold and wet. He had to get him to a warm dry place. With one final intake of air he stood up straight and pelted down a path through the trees. There were fresh footprints in the mud, which gave Lavi some hope as he quickened his pace. He was getting a stitch in his side.

He was shocked, and severely shaken that Allen was acting like this. Yes, he'd almost been raped again, but still… Lavi couldn't handle it. It hadn't always been easy after Allen attempted suicide, what with crying fits and nightmares, but he'd never acted like this.

The path ended and Lavi came out into another clearing. There was the lake, the surface rippling under the force of the rain. Allen wasn't there.

'Shit... ALLEN!' Lavi called as loud as he could, his voice echoing around him. He leant forward on his knees, panting and fighting back tears.

'Lavi...?' Said a small voice, barely audible over the rain and Lavi's pounding heartbeat. Lavi snapped his head around towards the voice. Allen was slowly walking out of the trees, soaking wet and looking exhausted. Tears were mixed with the raindrops on his face.

'Allen!' Lavi jogged to meet him. He took him in his arms and hugged him tightly, completely and utterly relieved.

'I-I'm sorry...' Allen sobbed into Lavi's shoulder, 'I-I don't know why I did that... I-I didn't... Do you hate me?'

'No...' Lavi was sobbing too now, 'I'm just glad you're safe.'

--

Allen's house wasn't very far from where they were, so they slowly walked their way there, Allen apologising all the way for yelling, swearing, insulting running off and several things Lavi knew the boy hadn't done. He tried to comfort him, but Allen only got more wound up, stuttering about how he didn't deserve his kindness and other things Lavi deemed nonsense.

The rain was getting worse, flooding the streets with thick rivers of water, and when they finally got to Allen's house (Empty because his parents were at work in the labs outside of town); they were soaked o the bone and freezing.

'Go have a hot shower,' Lavi instructed as they stumbled through the door, 'I'll find us some clothes and call your parents.'

Allen nodded and left without arguing. The house had two bathrooms, and Lavi wanted to go take a shower as well, but deciding this was a little bit more important, he picked up the phone and dialled Allen's mother's mobile.

'Hello?'

'Mrs. Walker, its Lavi,' Lavi breathed a sigh of relief, 'Um, Allen had to come home-'

'Oh my god he did?! Is he ok?!'

'Yes, he is now-'

'Oh, that's a relief. Listen Lavi, I need to get back to work, but unfortunately it came over the radio all the roads are closed cos of the storm. Could you stay the night with Allen? I wouldn't normally ask but...'

'No it's fine,' Lavi tried to sound cheerful. 'I'll see you when you get back.'

'Thanks Lavi.'

Lavi hung up and sighed, then trod up the stairs towards Allen's room to find dry clothes. Allen was at least a size smaller, but he had quite a number of clothes too big for him, so the redhead knew he'd be able to find something. He felt a little bad he'd lied to Allen's mother, but if his parents found out what had been going on today but couldn't get here, they'd freak out and it would make matters worse.

He found some clothes for him and Allen, left Allen's clothes by the door of the first bathroom, then went towards the second one.

--

Allen pulled on his fresh shirt and sighed, staring at himself in the mirror. Even after bathing he still looked a wreck, and he felt even worse. He honestly didn't know why he'd lashed out at Lavi earlier. The older boy was only trying to help...

'Dammit...' Allen gripped the basin edges. He had to go apologise properly, not just a constant string of senseless "I'm sorries" like before. He towel dried his hair, then went out the door. He could hear Lavi messing out in the kitchen and headed towards it. As he swung open the door, Lavi turned away from the oven with a cheery smile.

'Hey, have a good shower? I found some frozen pizzas in the fridge. All the roads are closed cos of the storm so your parents cant come home tonight.

'Hm...' Allen nodded, slowly walking forward. He slipped his arms around Lavi's waist and pressed his head against his chest.

'I've caused you nothing but trouble... Why are you with me?'

'What kind of question is that? I love you Allen.'

'How can you? I-I-I...I love you and I want to be with you but you've suffered because of me and this probably wont be the last time I...I...'

'Hey...' Lavi put his arms around the shorter boy, 'Don't worry 'bout stuff like that. I love you because you're Allen. All of this stuff, all the crap that's happening... Doesn't change that. You wanna get better?'

'Yes...' Allen nodded.

'Then you will, and neither of us will have to suffer. Doesn't that sound good?'

'Hm..' Allen nodded again. He pulled away and looked up into Lavi's one good eye. He reached up with a shaking hand and placed it on the older boy's cheek. He brought the redhead's face closer to him, stood on his tows, and kissed him. Lavi's eyes widened in surprise, his heart hammering hard against his chest. After a second though, he relaxed and kissed the boy gently back. They parted, and stared into each others eyes, blushing. Allen smiled.

'I-I'm glad you're with me Lavi...'

'And I'm glad you're here...' Lavi grinned happily.

'Um...' Allen suddenly looked behind the older teen and pointed, 'Pizza's burning.'

'OH SHIT!'

--

Lavi managed to save the pizza, although the edges were charcoal. They sat eating and watching TV, as well as a few DVDs, all the while in each others arms. They tried kissing again a few times, but in the end they both fell asleep, exhausted from the day's stressful events.

Sometime during the night, however, Lavi awoke to find Allen gone. Instantly, his entire body went cold with fear, and he jumped up to search for the boy.

'Oi Allen where are you?!'

'Outside!'

Allen's voice sounded strong and cheerful, which put Lavi at ease somewhat, but it was still raining outside, which made him nervous. He walked to the door, opened it and poked his head out. Lavi was sheltered beneath the balcony above the door, and was watching the rain, but when Lavi came out, he turned and smiled brightly.

'Sorry if I scared you, but the rain looked so nice I wanted to watch it for a while.'

Lavi almost laughed in relief. Allen always liked to watch the rain before he'd developed the phobia. He took Allen's hand and pulled him into a warm embrace.

--

**Ok, thats the last chapter, but i will ad an epiloque and an omake soon.**

**REVEIW!**


	12. Epilogue

**Epilogue.**

**--**

_Things weren't always easy with Lavi and me._

_Depression wasn't something that disappeared after a few days or months, but with the help of my friends and family, I was able to overcome it, and was off the medication nearly a year later._

_And for sticking by me even when I was a total jerk or when I was sad, I was truly thankful I had Lavi._

_I'm so glad that we fell in love, and I'm sure he'll always be trhere for for me, and I for him._

_I'm so glad we met when i dropped my books in the playground._

_--_

**Ok, on to the omake!**


	13. Omake!

**A cute omake for you guys for being such good readers and putting up with my cliffie addiction.**

**I would have posted it last night but then this guy who I like was on msn and…Anyway, we're going out now. Teehee….**

**Dedicated to my new boyfriend Dani, who totally loves my stories and can see there is nothing bad about anime yoai, which is rare for a guy.**

**I don't own dgm.**

**--**

Five year old Allen Walker walked quickly across the playground holding two books he was taking to the classroom for his teacher. He kept his head down, trying not to look at the children playing with their friends, whom he was jealous of. No one ever let him play with them, with his white hair, strangely coloured arm and weird scar on the side of his face they thought he was some kind of monster.

Then, just as he passed the flying fox, a leg was stuck out in front of him and he cried out in surprise as he tripped. The books were flung a few meters away, and sheets of paper exploded from between the pages and blew around the playground.

'Oh no!' Allen tried to get up to catch them, but was stopped when a hand grabbed the back of his collar. He made a choking noise and gripped at the material. The kid behind him laughed and turned him around. He was a year two with an ugly sneer on his face.

'HA! So it's true! There IS a monster at this school!'

'I-I'm not a monster...' Allen said in a small voice, 'Please let me go?'

'Why should I? I reckon the police would pay quite a bit for a monster. Do you go out at night and eat people? Do you paint their rooms with their blood? Answer me!'

The bully shoved Allen and he fell over hard and bit back tears. It was like this almost every day.

'Aw? Baby monster gonna cry? You can't fool me! I-'

'You better leave him alone!'

Allen looked up in surprise as another kid joined him. He had scruffy red hair and bright green eyes, one of which was covered by an Eyepatch. Allen had seen him hanging around in the year one section of the bag racks.

The bully narrowed his eyes at him, sizing him up. Although the redhead was a year younger then him, he was a few inches taller. He shrugged.

'Fine, let the monster go and let it eat people.'

The bully left, hands in his pockets. The redhead bent down and offered Allen his hand, a smile on his face.

'Hi, are you ok?'

'I'm fine...' Allen stared suspiciously at the hand. After a moment of consideration, he took it and the taller boy pulled him up.

'Don't listen to what that meanie said,' the redhead grinned, 'I don't think you're a monster.'

'Y-you don't?'

'Nope. Anyway, we'd better get those books and stuff gathered up.'

The pirate boy chuckled and ran to catch some of the papers. Allen could only stare after him, completely shocked. He'd never met a person his age who wasn't afraid of him, or who was nice to him.

'Hey!' The older boy called, 'There's some paper at your feet!'

Allen snapped out of it and bent to gather up the papers. By the time he was finished, the redhead had gathered up the rest of the sheets, stuck them back in the books, and proceeded to hand them to Allen.

'Here you go!'

'Th-thankyou...' Allen bowed his head nervously.

'No problem! Anyway, I gotta go, so I'll see you later!'

Allen nodded. The boy grinned and ran off. Allen sighed.

--

Allen peered out from under the covered area of the front of the school. It was raining, and the other students had all gone him. As usual, his mother was late in picking him up.

The five year old wrung his hands nervously. He'd gotten in trouble with the teacher for dirtying her books. He hadn't told why he'd dropped them though, no one ever believed him when he said he was being bullied in the past.

'Hello again!'

'GAH!' Allen jumped and made a surprised noise. The redheaded boy from before had appeared next to him, wearing a big smile.

'I'm Lavi by the way,' Lavi extended his hand, 'What's your name?'

'I-I'm Allen...' Allen briefly shook his hand.

'Allen huh? That's a nice name; I have an uncle called Allen, though he prefers to be called Elaine for some reason... He likes wearing dresses too, weird huh? My cousin told me he's a cross dresser, what ever that means... He's funny.'

Unable to help himself, Allen giggled. Lavi's face brightened.

'YAY! I got you to smile! I've seen you around and you always look sad. Why are you sad?'

'I'm not sad...'

'Well what ever you stop being it. Are you waiting for your parents?'

'Yes, my mum's picking me up...'

'That's nice of her,' Lavi grinned, 'I have to wait for my grandpa. My parents died last year so I live with him now.'

Allen blinked in surprise. How could he be smiling like that if his parents were dead?

'Anyway,' Lavi continued, 'I'm new to this town actually, only got here last week. Sure does rain here a lot.'

'It does...' Allen nodded, 'B-but I like the rain.'

'Really?'

'Yes, it's pretty, and everything smells nice afterwards.'

'Heh, I guess you're right.'

Lavi stared out at the rain, silent and thoughtful. Allen couldn't believe it. He was having a conversation! Was he making a friend?

'U-um...' Allen's voice shook, 'L-Lavi?'

'Yup?'

'Um... I'm turning six on the weekend, and I'm having a party with relatives and stuff... Would you like to come?'

He held his breath nervously. Lavi turned to look at him seriously.

'I'd...LOVE TO COME!' Lavi suddenly pulled Allen into a bone-crushing hug. Allen blinked in surprised, then smiled.

'Uh.. Thankyou...

'So should I bring you a present?' Lavi pulled away, 'I'll bring you a present. What would you like? Do you like drawing or reading?'

'Uh...' Allen blinked, unsure of how to answer. Just then, he heard his mother's voice.

'Allen!'

Allen and Lavi turned to see Mrs. Walker trotting up the pathway, an umbrella over her head.

'Sorry I'm later sweetie... Who's this?' She smiled at Lavi.

'He's Lavi. Mummy, can he come to my party?'

'Of course he can!' Mrs. Walker nodded, then put down the umbrella to ruffle through her handbag, 'Hold on, I'll just find... AH! Here we go!'

She pulled out a card and handed it to Lavi.

'Me and my husband's numbers are on that, so get your parents to call us ok?'

'Sure thing!' Lavi saluted, 'I'll give it to my grandpa soon as he gets here.'

'You're... Granpa?'

'I'm living with him.'

'Oh, ok... Ok, Allen, we'd better go.'

'Kay...' Allen nodded as his mother picked up the umbrella and took his hand. He tuned back to Lavi.

'Um, bye Lavi...'

'Yeah, see ya!'

Allen smiled and he and his mother ran quickly down the path towards their car. Allen had never felt happier in his life. He'd made a friend.

--

**Aw, so cute! You gotta love chibi Allen and Lavi.**

**Anyway, total end of the story!**

**Reveiw!**


End file.
